Big Brother 10 - Episode 1 (the example)

Angie
Traits: Worker +0, Schemer +0, Charmer +3, Thinker +0, Competitor +1, Under the Radar +8, Entertainer +0
Renovating It: Asian Sensation +5, Single, you guys +5
Slumming It: -
Events: Food winner: +10
Total: 30

April
Traits: Worker +1, Schemer +0, Charmer +2, Thinker -2, Competitor -1, Under the Radar -4, Entertainer -1
Renovating It: They real +2
Slumming It: Obsessive compulsive breast exam -5
Events: -
Total: -8

Brian
Traits: Worker +1, Schemer +8, Charmer +6, Thinker +5, Competitor -1, Under the Radar +4, Entertainer -1
Renovating It: Military alliance +5
Slumming It: Third person -3
Events: -
Total: 24

Dan
Traits: Worker +1, Schemer +7, Charmer +6, Thinker +5, Competitor -1, Under the Radar +3, Entertainer +1
Renovating It: Holy Alliance +5
Slumming It: Bush fan/No peace and love -5, Catholic loophole -10
Events: Food winner: +10
Total: 22

Jerry
Traits: Worker +0, Schemer +3, Charmer +10, Thinker +6, Competitor -5, Under the Radar -3, Entertainer +4
Renovating It: Senior Citizen Bonus +5, Full family tree +5
Slumming It: X marks the spot -5
Events: Head of Household +25
Total: 46

Jessie
Traits: Worker -5, Schemer -1, Charmer -5, Thinker -5, Competitor -10, Under the Radar -8, Entertainer -3
Renovating It: -
Slumming It: Whiny baby -5
Events: Nominated -10
Total: -52

Keesha
Traits: Worker -1, Schemer -5, Charmer +1, Thinker -5, Competitor -1, Under the Radar +7, Entertainer +0
Renovating It: Hooter's +5
Slumming It: Hooter's -5, Toy dog -5
Events: -
Total: 1

Libra
Traits: Worker +5, Schemer +0, Charmer +5, Thinker +0, Competitor -1, Under the Radar +9, Entertainer +0
Renovating It: Ebony & Ivory Twin Bonus +10
Slumming It: -
Events: -
Total: 28

Memphis
Traits: Worker -2, Schemer +3, Charmer +1, Thinker +1, Competitor +7, Under the Radar -5, Entertainer -10
Renovating It: -
Slumming It: Looking for a sugar mommy -10, Chef for alcoholics -10
Events: Food winner: +10, Luxuy winner: +20
Total: 5

Michelle
Traits: Worker +0, Schemer +0, Charmer -1, Thinker -1, Competitor +1, Under the Radar +10, Entertainer -3
Renovating It: -
Slumming It: Crazy Portugese role model -1
Events: Food winner: +10
Total: 15

Ollie
Traits: Worker +5, Schemer +4, Charmer +6, Thinker +3, Competitor -1, Under the Radar +3, Entertainer +6
Renovating It: Holy Alliance +5
Slumming It: Son of a Preacher Man (doesn't show too much) -1
Events: -
Total: 30

Renny
Traits: Worker +0, Schemer +0, Charmer -10, Thinker -7, Competitor +1, Under the Radar -10, Entertainer +1
Renovating It: -
Slumming It: Barfly -5, Acid flashback -10, Jackal laugh -5
Events: Food winner +10
Total: -35

Steven
Traits: Worker +1, Schemer +3, Charmer +1, Thinker +2, Competitor +1, Under the Radar +10, Entertainer +0
Renovating It: -
Slumming It: Brokeback Mountain obligatory joke +0
Events: Food winner +10
Total: 28

Julie Chen/Big Brother Fuck Up
The twist is that there is no twist +15
Total: 15

Rules: So You Think You Can Dance?

Choose 4 dancers. These will be your weekly point-earners (though they may also cost you points). Each week, they will be scored (-10 to 10) on 5 traits for each dance number (including solos, but not group dances): Choreography, Costume, Technique, Performance and Judge Love. Each one will also get bonus and penalty points (Good and Bad Moves) based on whatever happens that week.

In-game events also represent points:
Being in the bottom: -5
Eliminated: -25
When you lose a dancer, pick a new one.

Judge Bonus
In addition to your 4 dancers, you may also pick 1 judge who will be scored (-10 to 10) on Costume, Personality and Judgment each week, as well as for Good and Bad Calls. You may choose between Nigel, Mary and the Revolving Chair (risky, but could be profitable). You may not choose Cat. That would be a game breaker. Mmm... Cat.

The pool will be updated after every Thursday reveal show.

Rules: Big Brother

Choose 4 house guests. These will be your weekly point-earners (though they may also cost you points). Each week, they will be scored (-10 to 10) on seven basic traits: Worker, Schemer, Charmer, Thinker, Competitor, Under the Radar, and Entertainer (based on diary room material). Each one will also get bonus points (Renovating It) and penalty points (Slumming It) based on whatever happens that week.

In-game events also represent points:
Head of Household: +25
Veto Winner: +15
Vetoed: +5
Food Competition Winner: +10
Luxury Winner: +5 to +25
Nominated for Eviction: -10
For each Vote against: -5
Evicted: -30
When you lose a house guest, pick a new one.

Eviction Bonus
Each week, you may also score 25 points if you correctly guess who the evicted house guest will be.

Julie Chen/Big Brother Fuck Up side-game
At the start of the game, choose a number to represent how badly Julie Chen and Big Brother will mangle the season with flubs (1 point), inane questions (5 points), missed opportunities and twists blown too early (up to 50 points). At the end, whoever came closest to that number (yeah, you can go over, Price Is Right rules be damned!) scores an extra 100 points. It might make all the difference!

The pool will be updated after every Wednesday eviction show. There will also be an example made after the first episode.

The Rules of the Games

How does this blog work?
For people who want to run friendly pools about their favorite reality show contests, and would like to beyond the simple "choosing the winner" scheme, this website will offer a more complex, and definitely snarky, weekly scoring system. Participants of various shows will be scaled on various qualities relevant to their contest (there's not much dance technique in Survivor, nor is being "Under the Radar" a positive thing in So You Think You Can Dance, for example), and win or lose points based on each week's events (cool and not). Each game has its own specific rules, clickable in the side bar.

Who keeps track of the points?
You do. You can archive your choices and point totals in the blog's comment sections if you need to, but what you do with your points is your own business. It is simply meant as a play aid and a bit of comedy. Adapt the rules for your group. Put up a prize or don't.

What shows will Reality TV Bites Ass cover?
Only the ones I watch, obviously. Our first games will be Big Brother 10 and So You Think You Can Dance? 4 (from the top 10, I wasn't able to get my shit together before then), and eventually Survivor, Amazing Race and Hell's Kitchen.

This looks familiar. Where'd you steal it from?
Years ago, I liked to participate in online pools that had the same kind of content. I'm not sure if they're still online or what. What I've done is traded the prize support and ability to archive hundreds of pools for people for a porn-free, spyware-free web environment.