Big Brother 10 - Week 7 - Bizarro World Strategy

This week, you should reduce the number of Houseguests in your pool to 2.

Dan
Traits: Worker +6, Schemer +9, Charmer +7, Thinker +9, Competitor +10, Under the Radar +2, Entertainer +7
Renovating It: Pontius Pilate +15, Renegade Code Word +1, Replacement Nominee Roulette +10
Slumming It: -
Events: Head of Household +25, Veto Winner +15
Total: 116

Jerry
Traits: Worker +0, Schemer +1, Charmer +3, Stupid -2, Loser -7, Target -6, Dull -4
Renovating It: Mindmeld with Keesha +5
Slumming It: Yeah yeah we know you're old already -5
Events: Nominated -10, Winner Phone Call +10 (it's huge, apparently), Votes -5, Nominated Again -10
Total: -30

Keesha
Traits: Lazy -2, Sucker -2, Ugly -2, Stupid -2, Competitor +3, Target -3, Dull -4
Renovating It: Ollie's Choice - DENIED!!! +10, Mindmeld with Jerry +5
Slumming It: Short Reign -5
Events: Head of Household +25
Total: 23

Memphis
Traits: Worker +4, Schemer +2, Ugly -4, Thinker +1, Competitor +7, Target -6, Entertainer +2
Renovating It: Take a valium +5
Slumming It: Does not trust in bizarro strategy -5
Events: Nominated -10, Veto Winner +15, Vetoed +5
Total: 16

Michelle - Evicted
Traits: Worker +2, Sucker -5, Ugly -6, Stupid -6, Loser -4, Target -5, Entertainer +1
Renovating It: -
Slumming It: Innocent Bystander -5, Knows damn well America doesn't love her -5
Events: Nominated -10, Votes -15, Evicted -30
Total: -88

Ollie - Evicted
Traits: Worker +6, Sucker -3, Ugly -2, Stupid -4, Loser -2, Target -8, Entertainer +3
Renovating It: Proxy HOH +10, Piece of Hate in my mouth +5
Slumming It: Too Good to Be True -15, Violent Mood Swings -5, Cheered Eviction -5
Events: Nominated -10, Votes -15, Evicted -30
Total: -75

Renny
Traits: Worker +1, Schemer +1, Charmer +1, Thinker +1, Loser -4, Under the Radar +8, Entertainer +3
Renovating It: Guantanamo Bay Interrogator +5
Slumming It: -
Events: -
Total: 16

Julie Chen/Big Brother Fuck Up
Julie Chen Flubs +1, Julie Chen Awkward Questions +2, Awkward Pauses +5, Pleas to America a week too late +5, Shortest segment EVER +5, Dingless Bell +5
Running total: 141

Big Brother 10 - Week 6 - Ollie's Emancipation

April - Evicted
Traits: Worker +2, Schemer +4, Ugly -2, Smart +0, Loser -2, Target -7, Entertainer +0
Renovating It: Hot Twin +5
Slumming It: Not the Hotter Twin -5, Wag the Dog -5, Delusions of Niceness -5, One Among Millions -5, Oh so now it's only a "friendship" -10
Events: Food Winner +5, Nominated -10, Votes -20, Evicted -30
Total: -85

Dan
Traits: Worker +2, Schemer +7, Charmer +3, Thinker +9, Competitor +8, Under the Radar +2, Entertainer +3
Renovating It: Turn the other cheek +5, Doggie Keepaway +5, Saying Cricket Grace +5, Eternal Swing Vote +5
Slumming It: No women in the White House -5
Events: Food Winner +5, Veto Winner +15
Total: 69

Jerry
Traits: Worker +1, Sucker -5, Charmer +3, Stupid -4, Competitor +4, Target -3, Dull -1
Renovating It: Splinter Cell Stalking Strategy +5, Big Boys Don't Cry +1
Slumming It: Gag Reflex -5
Events: Nominated -10, Votes -5
Total: -19

Keesha
Traits: Worker +2, Schemer +1, Ugly -1, Thinker +2, Competitor +1, Under the Radar +6, Dull -2
Renovating It: -
Slumming It: Squeamish -5
Events: Food Winner +5
Total: 9

Memphis
Traits: Worker +2, Schemer +4, Charmer +2, Thinker +2, Loser -1, Target -2, Entertainer +3
Renovating It: Doggie Punt +10
Slumming It: -
Events: -
Total: 20

Michelle
Traits: Worker +2, Schemer +3, Charmer +0, Stupid -3, Competitor +2, Under the Radar +6, Entertainer +2
Renovating It: Vampira +10
Slumming It: No Poker Face -5
Events: Food Winner +5
Total: 22

Ollie
Traits: Worker +1, Schemer +4, Charmer +2, Stupid -8, Loser -3, Target +4, Entertainer +2
Renovating It: Free at Last +15
Slumming It: Marrying Kind -5, Marriage Proposal Turned Into a Joke -5, Birdophobia -10, Loser Boyfriend -5
Events: -
Total: -8

Renny
Traits: Worker +3, Schemer +6, Charmer +4, Thinker +5, Loser -1, Target -2, Entertainer +5
Renovating It: Doggie Keepaway +5, Hair Nazi +10
Slumming It: Instant Emotional Outburst -5, Pawn Shopping -5
Events: -
Total: 25

Julie Chen/Big Brother Fuck Up
Julie Chen Flubs +4, Julie Chen Awkward Questions +3, Math Problems +5, "Friendemies" +5
Running total: 118

Big Brother 10 - Week 5 - Bitchstorm

A little something different from this week on. Instead of saying Thinker -5, it's going to be Stupid -5, and so on with every opposite clearly marked. Just making it easier for readers to spot who's Lazy, Dull and Ugly.

April
Traits: Worker +4, Schemer +5, Ugly -10, Stupid -1, Loser -1, Target -3, Dull -4
Renovating It: Every HOH's Best Friend +10
Slumming It: Can't Compete with Janelle -5, Fooled by Chicken George -5
Events: Winner designer outfits +5
Total: -5

Dan
Traits: Worker +5, Schemer +8, Charmer +6, Thinker +7, Competitor +1, Target -3, Entertainer +5
Renovating It: Dodged America's Bullet +5, Pillow Thief +5, Judas' Lucky Day +5, Swing Vote +5
Slumming It: His Cross to Bear -5
Events: -
Total: 44

Jerry
Traits: Worker +2, Sucker -3, Ugly -10, Stupid -2, Competitor +5, Target +4, Dull -2
Renovating It: -
Slumming It: Pulpit Thumper -5, If Dan is Judas, does that make you Jesus? -10
Events: Veto Winner +15
Total: -6

Keesha
Traits: Worker +2, Schemer +2, Charmer +7, Thinker +6, Competitor +4, Under the Radar +0, Dull -2
Renovating It: Thanksgiving +10
Slumming It: -
Events: Nominated -10
Total: 19

Libra - Evicted
Traits: Worker +6, Schemer +2, Ugly -5, Thinker +4, Loser -2, Target -10, Entertainer +6
Renovating It: -
Slumming It: -
Events: Nominated -10, Votes -30, Evicted -30
Total: -69

Memphis
Traits: Worker +1, Sucker -1, Charmer +3, Thinker +2, Loser -5, Under the Radar +2, Entertainer +2
Renovating It: Pillow Thief +5
Slumming It: In Need of Bible Camp -5
Events: Winner Onion Necklace -5
Total: -1

Michelle
Traits: Worker +2, Sucker -2, Ugly -6, Stupid -4, Competitor +2, Target -1, Dull -5
Renovating It: -
Slumming It: -
Events: -
Total: -14

Ollie
Traits: Lazy -1, Schemer +2, Ugly -1, Stupid -1, Loser -4, Under the Radar +8, Dull -3
Renovating It: Into Blondes +5
Slumming It: Yes Dear -5, In case you were wondering what "Scallywag" meant, it's "a white Southerner who supported Reconstruction policies after the American Civil War" -5
Events: -
Total: -5

Renny
Traits: Worker +2, Schemer +2, Charmer +3, Thinker +1, Competitor +6, Under the Radar +4, Entertainer +4
Renovating It: Cheech and Chong Generation +5, Bread Earner +5
Slumming It: It's not Jeopardy, darlin' -5
Events: Head of Household +25
Total: 52

Julie Chen/Big Brother Fuck Up
Julie Chen Flubs +3, Julie Chen Awkward Questions +4, Weird Serious Face +5
Running total: 101

Big Brother 10 - Week 4 - Siskoid 1, Jesse 0

April
Traits: Worker +8, Schemer +5, Charmer -4, Thinker -3, Competitor +8, Under the Radar +0, Entertainer -2
Renovating It: Full Body Massage +5
Slumming It: This house isn't big enough for 2 blondes -5
Events: Head of Household +25, Winner 10,000$ (split up) +3
Total: 40

Dan
Traits: Worker -3, Schemer +4, Charmer +3, Thinker +1, Competitor -2, Under the Radar -4, Entertainer +10
Renovating It: Motivational Speaker +10, Speach Coach +5, America's Swing Vote +10, Hot Sister +10
Slumming It: Mr. Obvious -10
Events: America's Tasks (2) +20
Total: 54

Jerry
Traits: Worker +2, Schemer -2, Charmer -2, Thinker -1, Competitor +4, Under the Radar +2, Entertainer +1
Renovating It: -
Slumming It: Medal Winning Nosepicker -5, Pink Hockey Team -5
Events: Veto Winner +15, Placed on Slop -5
Total: 4

Jessie - Evicted (FINALLY!)
Traits: Worker -10, Schemer +6, Charmer -5, Thinker -2, Competitor -10, Under the Radar -10, Entertainer -6
Renovating It: America's Most Huggable +5
Slumming It: Any competition I lose is a bogus competition -10, America's Target -10, Horse's ass to the last -10
Events: Nominated -10, Votes -20, Evicted -30
Total: -122

Keesha
Traits: Worker +2, Schemer +5, Charmer -3, Thinker -3, Competitor +0, Under the Radar -2, Entertainer -1
Renovating It: Swoop in on Angie's alliances +5, It's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to +5
Slumming It: This house isn't big enough for 2 blondes -5
Events: -
Total: 3

Libra
Traits: Worker +2, Schemer +5, Charmer -4, Thinker +10, Competitor +5, Under the Radar -5, Entertainer -2
Renovating It: -
Slumming It: Bad Mother -10
Events: Winner Hawaiian Trip +10
Total: 11

Memphis
Traits: Worker +0, Schemer +2, Charmer +1, Thinker +2, Competitor -8, Under the Radar -4, Entertainer -2
Renovating It: -
Slumming It: Feel the Robot Love -5
Events: Nominated -10, Winner Slop Pass +1, Votes -15
Total: -38

Michelle
Traits: Worker +5, Schemer +2, Charmer -3, Thinker -2, Competitor +7, Under the Radar +0, Entertainer -2
Renovating It: The Promise +5
Slumming It: Taking Rhode Island off the map -5, Unifucktard -10
Events: Winner Unitard -15 (was just -5 until we saw her reaction), Head of Household +25
Total: 7

Ollie
Traits: Worker +0, Schemer +0, Charmer +2, Thinker +0, Competitor -2, Under the Radar +10, Entertainer +1
Renovating It: -
Slumming It: Afraid of a 6-foot drop -5
Events: -
Total: 6

Renny
Traits: Worker +4, Schemer +4, Charmer +2, Thinker +0, Competitor +6, Under the Radar +5, Entertainer +7
Renovating It: Sayonara +5
Slumming It: -
Events: -
Total: 33

Julie Chen/Big Brother Fuck Up
Up against two finales +10, Dan's plea to America an episode too late +5, Julie Chen Flubs +1, Julie Chen Awkward Questions +3
Running total: 89

So You Think You Can Dance - Top 4

This week, in lieu of the normal elimination penalties, I'm giving -25 to 4th place, -10 to 3rd place, +10 to 2nd place, and +25 to 1st place.

Courtney - Eliminated
Dances: Hip Hop / Solo / Broadway / Contemporary
Partner: Everyone
Traits: Choreography: +9 / +2 / -1 / +8, Costumes: +4 / +3 / +0 / +4, Technique: +9 / +6 / +7 / +7, Performance +10 / +6 / +5 / +7, Judge Love: +9 / +9 / +7 / +7
Good Moves: Crazy Girlfriend +5, Mafia Princess +5, Tear Jerker +15
Bad Moves: Who's this Brett guy? -5, Giant Bouquet -5
Events: Fourth Place -25
Total: 108

Joshua
Dances: Lyrical / Russian / Solo / Jive
Partner: Everyone
Traits: Choreography: +10 / +2 / +6 / +8, Costumes: +1 / -3 / +3 / -1, Technique: +9 / +9 / +9 / +7, Performance +10 / +8 / +10 / +6, Judge Love: +10 / +10 / +10 / +7
Good Moves: Afterglow +5, Maxwell Smart Shoes +5, Yee! +5, First Class on the Hot Tamale Train +5, The Never Ending Battle +10
Bad Moves: -
Events: America's Favorite Trained OR Untrained Dancer +25
Total: 186

Katee - Eliminated
Dances: Lyrical / Broadway / Solo / Foxtrot
Partner: Everyone
Traits: Choreography: +10 / -1 / +3 / +5, Costumes: +5 / +0 / +7 / +8, Technique: +9 / +8 / +5 / +9, Performance +10 / +5 / +5 / +10, Judge Love: +10 / +8 / +5 / +8
Good Moves: Afterglow +5, Judges' Favorite +10, Standing Ovation +10, 50,000$ Loser (Top Girl Bonus) +10
Bad Moves: -
Events: Third Place -10
Total: 154

Twitch - Eliminated
Dances: Hip Hop / Solo / Russian / Foxtrot
Partner: Everyone
Traits: Choreography: +9 / +4 / +2 / +5, Costumes: +4 / -2 / +6 / -5, Technique: +9 / +9 / +9 / +6, Performance +8 / +8 / +9 / +7, Judge Love: +9 / +9 / +10 / +8
Good Moves: Black Bond +5, The Never Ending Battle +10
Bad Moves: Get Off the Stage... NOW! -5
Events: Second Place +10
Total: 144

Judge Bonus

Nigel
Traits: Costume: +2, Personality: +10, Judgment +10
Good Calls: Better dancer than Mary +10
Bad Calls: -
Total Bonus: 32

Mary
Traits: Costume: -4, Personality: +5, Judgment +7
Good Calls: Crazy Judge +5, An excuse to touch Dimitri's chest +5
Bad Calls: So She Thinks She Can Dance? -5
Total Bonus: 13

Revolving Chair: Everyone
Traits (Mandy Moore): Costume: -1, Personality: +5, Judgment +8
Good Calls: (Adam Shankman) Scared [beep]less +5
Bad Calls: (Adam Shankman) Step Up 3D -5, (Li'l C) Overbucked -5
Total Bonus: 7

It was an excellent season, with some great dancers and choreography. Best one yet! Now am I tempted to watch the upcoming Canadian version? I dunno... Wouldn't want to burn out on dance... Do Quebeckers dance with an accent?

So You Think You Can Dance - Top 6

Chelsie - Eliminated
Dances: Mambo / Solo / Hip Hop / Solo
Partner: Twitch
Traits: Choreography: +5 / +0 / +7 / -2, Costumes: +5 / +2 / -1 / -2, Technique: +10 / +3 / +6 / +2, Performance +8 / +3 / +9 / +2, Judge Love: +10 / +8
Good Moves: Lightning Hips +5, Million Vote Loser +5
Bad Moves: -
Events: Eliminated -25
Total: 60

Courtney
Dances: Viennese Waltz / Solo / Fucked Up Jazz / Solo
Partner: Mark
Traits: Choreography: +4 / +1 / +7 / +0, Costumes: +8 / +0 / +7 / +3, Technique: +7 / +4 / +9 / +5, Performance +8 / +1 / +9 / +5, Judge Love: +8 / +9
Good Moves: Headbanger +5
Bad Moves: -
Events: -
Total: 100

Joshua
Dances: Contemporary / Solo / Pasa Doble / Solo
Partner: Katee
Traits: Choreography: +10 / +5 / +10 / +3, Costumes: +3 / -2 / +8 / +1, Technique: +10 / +10 / +10 / +5, Performance +10 / +7 / +10 / +3, Judge Love: +10 / +10
Good Moves: Back together again +5, Braceless +5
Bad Moves: -
Events: -
Total: 135

Katee
Dances: Contemporary / Solo / Pasa Doble / Solo
Partner: Joshua
Traits: Choreography: +10 / +4 / +10 / +7, Costumes: +7 / +1 / +7 / +4, Technique: +10 / +5 / +10 / +8, Performance +10 / +6 / +10 / +7, Judge Love: +10 / +9
Good Moves: Back together again +5
Bad Moves: -
Events: -
Total: 140

Mark - Eliminated
Dances: Viennese Waltz / Solo / Fucked Up Jazz / Solo
Partner: Courtney
Traits: Choreography: +4 / +0 / +7 / +10, Costumes: +0 / -5 / +0 / -5, Technique: +7 / +2 / +9 / +3, Performance +7 / +5 / +9 / +7, Judge Love: +8 / +9
Good Moves: Touched a boob +5, Magic Wardrobe +5, Million Vote Loser +5
Bad Moves: -
Events: Eliminated -25
Total: 77

Twitch
Dances: Mambo / Solo / Hip Hop / Solo
Partner: Chelsie
Traits: Choreography: +5 / +5 / +7 / +5, Costumes: -5 / +6 / -1 / +2, Technique: +5 / +6 / +9 / +8, Performance +3 / +8 / +9 / +7, Judge Love: +2 / +8
Good Moves: Sharing teeth with Cat +10, Figure Skater +5
Bad Moves: Lowrider -5
Events: -
Total: 99

Judge Bonus

Nigel
Traits: Costume: +2, Personality: +1, Judgment +5
Good Calls: Reality Check +5
Bad Calls: -
Total Bonus: 13

Mary
Traits: Costume: -2, Personality: -4, Judgment +2
Good Calls: Choking Up Bonus +5
Bad Calls: Screaming Up Penalty -5
Total Bonus: -4

Revolving Chair: Adam Shankman
Traits: Costume: +2, Personality: +5, Judgment +3
Good Calls: Adding to the Bounty +10
Bad Calls: Paula Abdul Connection -5
Total Bonus: 15