Big Brother 10 - Week 10 - That Clip Show and the Finale

Dan
Traits: Worker +5, Schemer +10, Charmer +12, Thinker +10, Competitor +10, Entertainer +7
Renovating It: Prankster +5, Lobo +5, Swim Club +5, TURNED APRIL'S VOTE!!! +25
Slumming It: -
Events: Winner 7-0 +50
Total: 144

Memphis
Traits: Worker +2, Sucker -5, Charmer +2, Stupid -4, Loser -10, Entertainer +2
Renovating It: Mixology Finally Comes in Handy +5, Putting his Gay on +5
Slumming It: Backpeddle -10
Events: Runner-up +10
Total: -3

Julie Chen/Big Brother Fuck Up
Julie Chen Flubs +2, Julie Chen Awkward Questions +1, Clip Show +5, Blur Sock Nipples +5, Loose Use of the Word "Epic" +5, No One Wants to Talk to Angie +5
Running total: 228

Don't forget to give yourself 100 points if you came closest to the Julie Chen/BB Fuck Up in your group!

Big Brother 10 - Week 9 - I Love It When a Plan Comes Together

Dan
Traits: Lazy -1, Schemer +10, Charmer +5, Thinker +8, Competitor +10, Under the Radar +2, Entertainer +6
Renovating It: Love Is a Warm Envelope +5, Monica's Real +5, Getting Michelle Drunk +5, Art of the Throw +5, Unreadable +10
Slumming It: -
Events: Trip Winner +5, First Heat Winner +10, Head of Household +25
Total: 110

Jerry - Evicted
Traits: Worker +0, Sucker -10, Charmer +1, Stupid -8, Loser -10, Target -3, Dull -2
Renovating It: Realtor Bonus +5
Slumming It: Sassed by Dan's Parents -5, Burning Guesses -5, 50 Minute Penalty -10
Events: Nominated -10, Votes -5, Evicted -30
Total: -92

Keesha - Evicted
Traits: Worker +0, Sucker -7, Ugly -1, Stupid -5, Loser -2, Target -2, Dull -4
Renovating It: Mind Reader +10
Slumming It: Stick in the Mud -5
Events: Nominated -10, Votes -5, Evicted -30
Total: -61

Memphis
Traits: Worker +6, Schemer +8, Charmer +4, Stupid -6, Competitor +5, Under the Radar +2, Entertainer +4
Renovating It: Pet Spider Gorekill Bonus +15
Slumming It: Contortionists Are People Too -5
Events: Nominated -10, Veto Winner +15, Vetoed +5, Winner Second Heat +10
Total: 53

Julie Chen/Big Brother Fuck Up
Julie Chen Flubs +4, Julie Chen Awkward Questions +4, Couldn't Get a Real Japanese +5, Jesse the Gorilla +5, "Final and most important yet" +5, Expect the Expected: Ye Olde Consolatione Prize +10
Running total: 205

Big Brother 10 - Week 8 - Renegade Week

This week, you should reduce the number of Houseguests in your pool to 1. A Houseguest who is the Winner gets +50 point bonus, 2nd place, +30.

Dan
Traits: Worker +6, Schemer +8, Ugly -1, Thinker +6, Competitor +8, Target -2, Entertainer +5
Renovating It: Outed Competitor +5, Birthday Veto +5, Jerry Impressions +5
Slumming It: Lady Luck Is a Bitch -5
Events: Nominated -10, Vetoed +5, Head of Household +25
Total: 60

Jerry
Traits: Lazy -1, Sucker -5, Charmer +4, Stupid -6, Competitor +5, Under the Radar +1, Entertainer +2
Renovating It: Life Is Short Irony Bonus +10
Slumming It: It's Not Your Age, It's Everything Else -10, Snake Charmer -5, S.S. Jerry Not Seaworthy -5
Events: Head of Household +25
Total: 15

Keesha
Traits: Worker +4, Sucker -6, Ugly -4, Stupid -6, Loser -2, Target -2, Dull -4
Renovating It: Sisterhood of the Traveling Boobs +5
Slumming It: Hyena Penalty -5
Events: Nominated -10
Total: -30

Memphis
Traits: Worker +2, Schemer +8, Charmer +5, Thinker +2, Competitor +5, Target -4, Entertainer +4
Renovating It: Judas II +10, Man of his Words +5
Slumming It: Busted -5
Events: Veto Winner +15
Total: 47

Renny - Evicted
Traits: Worker +9, Sucker -4, Charmer +1, Stupid -8, Loser -6, Target -2, Entertainer +6
Renovating It: Sleep Walker +5, Almond Joy +5, Spanking Dan +10, Sisterhood of the Traveling Boobs +5
Slumming It: Time Zoned Out -5, Bald Blind Spot -5
Events: Nominated -10, Votes -10, Evicted -30
Total: -49

Julie Chen/Big Brother Fuck Up
Julie Chen Flubs +4, Julie Chen Awkward Questions +2, Tedious Recap of Live Eviction Night +5, Who/Whom Issues +5, Still Can't Get the Houseguests Not to Curse on Live TV +5, Re: The Competitions - Expect the Expected +10
Running total: 172

Big Brother 10 - Week 7 - Bizarro World Strategy

This week, you should reduce the number of Houseguests in your pool to 2.

Dan
Traits: Worker +6, Schemer +9, Charmer +7, Thinker +9, Competitor +10, Under the Radar +2, Entertainer +7
Renovating It: Pontius Pilate +15, Renegade Code Word +1, Replacement Nominee Roulette +10
Slumming It: -
Events: Head of Household +25, Veto Winner +15
Total: 116

Jerry
Traits: Worker +0, Schemer +1, Charmer +3, Stupid -2, Loser -7, Target -6, Dull -4
Renovating It: Mindmeld with Keesha +5
Slumming It: Yeah yeah we know you're old already -5
Events: Nominated -10, Winner Phone Call +10 (it's huge, apparently), Votes -5, Nominated Again -10
Total: -30

Keesha
Traits: Lazy -2, Sucker -2, Ugly -2, Stupid -2, Competitor +3, Target -3, Dull -4
Renovating It: Ollie's Choice - DENIED!!! +10, Mindmeld with Jerry +5
Slumming It: Short Reign -5
Events: Head of Household +25
Total: 23

Memphis
Traits: Worker +4, Schemer +2, Ugly -4, Thinker +1, Competitor +7, Target -6, Entertainer +2
Renovating It: Take a valium +5
Slumming It: Does not trust in bizarro strategy -5
Events: Nominated -10, Veto Winner +15, Vetoed +5
Total: 16

Michelle - Evicted
Traits: Worker +2, Sucker -5, Ugly -6, Stupid -6, Loser -4, Target -5, Entertainer +1
Renovating It: -
Slumming It: Innocent Bystander -5, Knows damn well America doesn't love her -5
Events: Nominated -10, Votes -15, Evicted -30
Total: -88

Ollie - Evicted
Traits: Worker +6, Sucker -3, Ugly -2, Stupid -4, Loser -2, Target -8, Entertainer +3
Renovating It: Proxy HOH +10, Piece of Hate in my mouth +5
Slumming It: Too Good to Be True -15, Violent Mood Swings -5, Cheered Eviction -5
Events: Nominated -10, Votes -15, Evicted -30
Total: -75

Renny
Traits: Worker +1, Schemer +1, Charmer +1, Thinker +1, Loser -4, Under the Radar +8, Entertainer +3
Renovating It: Guantanamo Bay Interrogator +5
Slumming It: -
Events: -
Total: 16

Julie Chen/Big Brother Fuck Up
Julie Chen Flubs +1, Julie Chen Awkward Questions +2, Awkward Pauses +5, Pleas to America a week too late +5, Shortest segment EVER +5, Dingless Bell +5
Running total: 141

Big Brother 10 - Week 6 - Ollie's Emancipation

April - Evicted
Traits: Worker +2, Schemer +4, Ugly -2, Smart +0, Loser -2, Target -7, Entertainer +0
Renovating It: Hot Twin +5
Slumming It: Not the Hotter Twin -5, Wag the Dog -5, Delusions of Niceness -5, One Among Millions -5, Oh so now it's only a "friendship" -10
Events: Food Winner +5, Nominated -10, Votes -20, Evicted -30
Total: -85

Dan
Traits: Worker +2, Schemer +7, Charmer +3, Thinker +9, Competitor +8, Under the Radar +2, Entertainer +3
Renovating It: Turn the other cheek +5, Doggie Keepaway +5, Saying Cricket Grace +5, Eternal Swing Vote +5
Slumming It: No women in the White House -5
Events: Food Winner +5, Veto Winner +15
Total: 69

Jerry
Traits: Worker +1, Sucker -5, Charmer +3, Stupid -4, Competitor +4, Target -3, Dull -1
Renovating It: Splinter Cell Stalking Strategy +5, Big Boys Don't Cry +1
Slumming It: Gag Reflex -5
Events: Nominated -10, Votes -5
Total: -19

Keesha
Traits: Worker +2, Schemer +1, Ugly -1, Thinker +2, Competitor +1, Under the Radar +6, Dull -2
Renovating It: -
Slumming It: Squeamish -5
Events: Food Winner +5
Total: 9

Memphis
Traits: Worker +2, Schemer +4, Charmer +2, Thinker +2, Loser -1, Target -2, Entertainer +3
Renovating It: Doggie Punt +10
Slumming It: -
Events: -
Total: 20

Michelle
Traits: Worker +2, Schemer +3, Charmer +0, Stupid -3, Competitor +2, Under the Radar +6, Entertainer +2
Renovating It: Vampira +10
Slumming It: No Poker Face -5
Events: Food Winner +5
Total: 22

Ollie
Traits: Worker +1, Schemer +4, Charmer +2, Stupid -8, Loser -3, Target +4, Entertainer +2
Renovating It: Free at Last +15
Slumming It: Marrying Kind -5, Marriage Proposal Turned Into a Joke -5, Birdophobia -10, Loser Boyfriend -5
Events: -
Total: -8

Renny
Traits: Worker +3, Schemer +6, Charmer +4, Thinker +5, Loser -1, Target -2, Entertainer +5
Renovating It: Doggie Keepaway +5, Hair Nazi +10
Slumming It: Instant Emotional Outburst -5, Pawn Shopping -5
Events: -
Total: 25

Julie Chen/Big Brother Fuck Up
Julie Chen Flubs +4, Julie Chen Awkward Questions +3, Math Problems +5, "Friendemies" +5
Running total: 118

Big Brother 10 - Week 5 - Bitchstorm

A little something different from this week on. Instead of saying Thinker -5, it's going to be Stupid -5, and so on with every opposite clearly marked. Just making it easier for readers to spot who's Lazy, Dull and Ugly.

April
Traits: Worker +4, Schemer +5, Ugly -10, Stupid -1, Loser -1, Target -3, Dull -4
Renovating It: Every HOH's Best Friend +10
Slumming It: Can't Compete with Janelle -5, Fooled by Chicken George -5
Events: Winner designer outfits +5
Total: -5

Dan
Traits: Worker +5, Schemer +8, Charmer +6, Thinker +7, Competitor +1, Target -3, Entertainer +5
Renovating It: Dodged America's Bullet +5, Pillow Thief +5, Judas' Lucky Day +5, Swing Vote +5
Slumming It: His Cross to Bear -5
Events: -
Total: 44

Jerry
Traits: Worker +2, Sucker -3, Ugly -10, Stupid -2, Competitor +5, Target +4, Dull -2
Renovating It: -
Slumming It: Pulpit Thumper -5, If Dan is Judas, does that make you Jesus? -10
Events: Veto Winner +15
Total: -6

Keesha
Traits: Worker +2, Schemer +2, Charmer +7, Thinker +6, Competitor +4, Under the Radar +0, Dull -2
Renovating It: Thanksgiving +10
Slumming It: -
Events: Nominated -10
Total: 19

Libra - Evicted
Traits: Worker +6, Schemer +2, Ugly -5, Thinker +4, Loser -2, Target -10, Entertainer +6
Renovating It: -
Slumming It: -
Events: Nominated -10, Votes -30, Evicted -30
Total: -69

Memphis
Traits: Worker +1, Sucker -1, Charmer +3, Thinker +2, Loser -5, Under the Radar +2, Entertainer +2
Renovating It: Pillow Thief +5
Slumming It: In Need of Bible Camp -5
Events: Winner Onion Necklace -5
Total: -1

Michelle
Traits: Worker +2, Sucker -2, Ugly -6, Stupid -4, Competitor +2, Target -1, Dull -5
Renovating It: -
Slumming It: -
Events: -
Total: -14

Ollie
Traits: Lazy -1, Schemer +2, Ugly -1, Stupid -1, Loser -4, Under the Radar +8, Dull -3
Renovating It: Into Blondes +5
Slumming It: Yes Dear -5, In case you were wondering what "Scallywag" meant, it's "a white Southerner who supported Reconstruction policies after the American Civil War" -5
Events: -
Total: -5

Renny
Traits: Worker +2, Schemer +2, Charmer +3, Thinker +1, Competitor +6, Under the Radar +4, Entertainer +4
Renovating It: Cheech and Chong Generation +5, Bread Earner +5
Slumming It: It's not Jeopardy, darlin' -5
Events: Head of Household +25
Total: 52

Julie Chen/Big Brother Fuck Up
Julie Chen Flubs +3, Julie Chen Awkward Questions +4, Weird Serious Face +5
Running total: 101

Big Brother 10 - Week 4 - Siskoid 1, Jesse 0

April
Traits: Worker +8, Schemer +5, Charmer -4, Thinker -3, Competitor +8, Under the Radar +0, Entertainer -2
Renovating It: Full Body Massage +5
Slumming It: This house isn't big enough for 2 blondes -5
Events: Head of Household +25, Winner 10,000$ (split up) +3
Total: 40

Dan
Traits: Worker -3, Schemer +4, Charmer +3, Thinker +1, Competitor -2, Under the Radar -4, Entertainer +10
Renovating It: Motivational Speaker +10, Speach Coach +5, America's Swing Vote +10, Hot Sister +10
Slumming It: Mr. Obvious -10
Events: America's Tasks (2) +20
Total: 54

Jerry
Traits: Worker +2, Schemer -2, Charmer -2, Thinker -1, Competitor +4, Under the Radar +2, Entertainer +1
Renovating It: -
Slumming It: Medal Winning Nosepicker -5, Pink Hockey Team -5
Events: Veto Winner +15, Placed on Slop -5
Total: 4

Jessie - Evicted (FINALLY!)
Traits: Worker -10, Schemer +6, Charmer -5, Thinker -2, Competitor -10, Under the Radar -10, Entertainer -6
Renovating It: America's Most Huggable +5
Slumming It: Any competition I lose is a bogus competition -10, America's Target -10, Horse's ass to the last -10
Events: Nominated -10, Votes -20, Evicted -30
Total: -122

Keesha
Traits: Worker +2, Schemer +5, Charmer -3, Thinker -3, Competitor +0, Under the Radar -2, Entertainer -1
Renovating It: Swoop in on Angie's alliances +5, It's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to +5
Slumming It: This house isn't big enough for 2 blondes -5
Events: -
Total: 3

Libra
Traits: Worker +2, Schemer +5, Charmer -4, Thinker +10, Competitor +5, Under the Radar -5, Entertainer -2
Renovating It: -
Slumming It: Bad Mother -10
Events: Winner Hawaiian Trip +10
Total: 11

Memphis
Traits: Worker +0, Schemer +2, Charmer +1, Thinker +2, Competitor -8, Under the Radar -4, Entertainer -2
Renovating It: -
Slumming It: Feel the Robot Love -5
Events: Nominated -10, Winner Slop Pass +1, Votes -15
Total: -38

Michelle
Traits: Worker +5, Schemer +2, Charmer -3, Thinker -2, Competitor +7, Under the Radar +0, Entertainer -2
Renovating It: The Promise +5
Slumming It: Taking Rhode Island off the map -5, Unifucktard -10
Events: Winner Unitard -15 (was just -5 until we saw her reaction), Head of Household +25
Total: 7

Ollie
Traits: Worker +0, Schemer +0, Charmer +2, Thinker +0, Competitor -2, Under the Radar +10, Entertainer +1
Renovating It: -
Slumming It: Afraid of a 6-foot drop -5
Events: -
Total: 6

Renny
Traits: Worker +4, Schemer +4, Charmer +2, Thinker +0, Competitor +6, Under the Radar +5, Entertainer +7
Renovating It: Sayonara +5
Slumming It: -
Events: -
Total: 33

Julie Chen/Big Brother Fuck Up
Up against two finales +10, Dan's plea to America an episode too late +5, Julie Chen Flubs +1, Julie Chen Awkward Questions +3
Running total: 89